(The trans healthcare series will continue, but interspersed with hot political takes. Here’s one of them:)
It is August 15th, 2023 and the Heritage Foundation’s daily Daily Signal newsletter has devoted their top spot to the most relevant political story of the day: an unfolding legal scandal that revolve around a threat to democracy itself. One of America’s two parties continues to be held held hostage by a profoundly corrupt criminal operative who is, nonetheless, their only viable option for 2024.
I am talking, of course, about the ongoing Hunter Biden scandal:
In case you missed it somehow, Trump has been indicted, again, this time in Georgia. We knew the indictment was coming and hot damn was it worth the wait: we’re talking RICO charges, racketeering with 18 co-conspirators, we’re talking accusations of a criminal organization that conspired to deprive Georgians of the right to vote. Also, here’s a fun fact: because these are state charges, Trump can’t pardon himself on this one, even if he wins in ‘24. State rights cut both ways, baby. Welcome to federalism.
“How can the Republicans possibly support Trump with all that’s come to light?” many are asking, and when it comes to the Daily Signal the answer is: by sticking their fingers in their ears and screaming about the Joe Biden crime family. Lying back and thinking about Hunter Biden’s dick. Oh, and children’s dicks too, but when do they not these days? “California AG Hints at Investigating Second School Board to Back Parental Rights on Kids’ Gender Transitions,” the Daily Signal home page now screams. “Court Rules School District Allowed to Keep Child Gender Transitions From Parents” blares another. Both these headlines are visible without scrolling.
To be fair, there is one article about Trump up top: “LAST LAUGH? Hillary Clinton Responds to News of Trump's Latest Indictment.” Hillary Clinton! Conservatism is supposed to be about returning to an imaginary past that never was, not about literally living there. The article provides blow-by-blow coverage of a 15-minute news segment in which Rachel Maddow and Clinton have a bit of fun at Trump’s expense. Points hit in the article: Comey wouldn’t let Trump lock Hillary up, but now they’re trying to lock Trump up. Sad! The economy isn’t doing very well. And why is no one talking about trans people transing our children?!
What else are conservatives supposed to do? This is about as bad as it gets for them. Trump is their nominee; unless he keels over and dies there is a 100% chance they are stuck with them. The Florida and DC trials are scheduled to start in August of 2024, which would be a godsend for Trump if these charges were as petty and stupid as, say, the Stormy Daniels indictment. But they aren’t. They’re serious, and Trump deserves to go to prison for them. Less than three months before Americans go to the polls, they are probably going to hear that recording where Trump declares that he cannot legally declassify the documents he’s showing a reporter. The DC case is going to be the J6 committee all over again, but probably bigger: people are going to be rabid for politics, and this time the stakes are high. Trump could go to prison.
If I were the GOP I’d consider looking into arsenic. Alexa: can you taste rat poison if injected into a well-done steak smothered with ketchup?
Of the various right-wing news organizations trying desperately to deal with the problem of a president charged with crimes that collectively carry a penalty of 641 years in prison, the Daily Signal is the most brazen with the la-la-la maneuver. The landing page for Newsmax, which aside from Fox is the closest thing to an actual news outlet that the conservative movement has right now, currently reads: “Trump Promises to Unveil 'Irrefutable Report' Exonerating Him.” To its credit, the article sorta summarizes the charges against Trump, but not before telling readers they don’t need to worry about it because Trump did a Truth Social post swearing that all will be revealed next week at a New Jersey golf. Can’t wait.
On the other hand, here’s what One America News Network (OANN) considers the top stories of today, in order of appearance:
Two sexual assaults occurred in hotels in Buffalo, New York, which means we should stop allowing immigration, since no one born in America or in the halls of government currently has ever sexually assaulted anyone.
Lizzo is no longer being considered for the 2024 Super Bowl halftime show
Alan Dershowitz doesn’t care for this 4th Trump indictment
“Pres. Trump Tees Off On Georgia Indictment: ‘Sounds Rigged To Me!’”
The last story is the closest thing to news coverage on this website, and it reports on that event in much the way a pro-wrestling fan might explain the latest plot developments to me at a bar: nothing but Trump and Trump Jr talking shit about the indictment, no exploration into what that indictment involves. It’s a slightly more sophisticated approach than the la-la-la maneuer in that it simply reduces the political to reality TV. People are already primed for this kind of coverage, and not exclusively on the right either. Exhibit A: the Stormy Daniels indictment, which I maintain is too stupid for words. Still, the American conservative movement is the undisputed world champion of reducing politics to the crassest possible form of entertainment, as they are proving with a vengeance today.
Even Fox News, which does not particularly care for Trump any longer, is all in on protecting their audience from the facts of the case. “Town's entire police force quits — and the department has no applicants for the job,” the current largest headline reads (Goodhue, Minnesota, for anyone looking for a safer place to live). Fox News also mentions the indictment several times, including that Hillary Clinton clip we talked about earlier. Why was the has-been who lost to Donald John Trump on MSNBC in the first place? Alexa: can you taste rat poison if injected into foie gras?
Fox also has a Live Updates section for the Trump indictment that does a better job than OANN of hiding the fact that its coverage consists of reactions to the indictment, interspersed with explainers for the more mundane aspects of the system. “How is a grand jury selected?” “What is racketeering?”
To their credit, Fox also links directly to the indictment—or at least they link to an article that links to it. But it doesn’t break down the contents for readers, and let’s face it: normal people don’t have time to read 96 pages of legalese. They would like a quick breakdown. Fox, of course, would very much prefer it if they didn’t get one.
Reality continues to bifurcate. If you have your people locked in tight enough, you can completly control what they learn about. The Hunter Biden story remains pretty minor—tragic addiction and garden-variety nepotism at most. But if you search for it, you can read about it on Axois and Politico and all manner of similar Soros-backed liberal communist brainwashing propaganda outlets. Maybe not in as much detail as it deserves. But it’s there.
Once again, the Party of Freedom conducts a master class on what authoritarianism looks like. May their leader end up where all authoritarian leaders deserve to go: behind bars, for the rest of his days, as a warning to the others.
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What I said early on is that I don't actually need for Donny boy to rot in prison - it would be nice, and I absolutely hope it happens, but the one thing I REALLY need from all of this is a felony conviction on his record. I want to be able to see him forever referenced as "convicted felon Donald J. Trump."
Of course, early on I didn't expect the various legal systems to take it quite so seriously. I fully expected a token conviction and for Joe to magnanimously commute his sentence and let him slink off in disgrace. As it is, it really looks like they're making an example of him, and it's pretty excellent. The more of his co-conspirators that also wind up in a cell, the better.
As for the denial factor, I was at a family reunion last week and it was a pretty monochromatic group, but it was politically diverse. The only people who were clueless or rude enough to risk spoiling the good time by mentioning anything political were busy asking everyone if they'd seen some of the various right wing cinematic masterpieces that have been released lately. I didn't engage: there's a certain depth of burying one's head up one's ass where it becomes impossible to reach them from the outside.
RICO. Suave.