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Quality Control's avatar

"This was not a barn-burner. This was a lighter that works if you shake it hard enough." This whole piece (unlike Trump's speech) was pure gold.

Amanda Moore's avatar

excuse me, but maggie haberman said he was "growing visibly"

Laura Jedeed's avatar

Big Violet Beauregarde vibes

Ornithomancer's avatar

I think Trump knows that being the first one to show up for the party automatically means that you're not the most important person at the party. I also suspect Trump is trying to do this to hopefully complicate his legal issues.

Throwing his hat in the ring a week or two after the midterms doesn't look like a position of strength. Even a big red wave at the midterms wouldn't have felt like a position of strength. It feels like a position of weakness, and I think he knows on a certain level it reeks of that.

Laura Jedeed's avatar

I think a victory speech right after the midterms would have worked out pretty well -- it wouldn't work out in an open primary but this isn't *really* an open primary, it's a Trump coronation only Ron DeSantis could spoil

Regardless he sure did look weak doing it right after the American people were like "nah"

Ornithomancer's avatar

Yeah you could have made a try for it. But man... 2 years before the election is a *long* time. I could see a teaser... "I will be running for president but I'm not announcing my candidacy yet" so that he could keep sucking that sweet sweet PAC money he has.

But after that midterm it just looks like a wet fart. Especially with all the legal difficulty he has now- and I don't mean prosecution, I mean more like his lawyers being pants-on-head stupid and getting sanctioned for frivolous lawsuits.

Bill Flarsheim's avatar

Great writing. “This was a lighter that works if you shake it hard enough.” Is a masterpiece.

Minor typo seven paragraphs from the end, “No such figleaf for the 2020 midterms as of yet.” Should be 2022. Don’t know if you can edit after it’s up on Substack.

Laura Jedeed's avatar

Shoot! Editing now (thank you)

Eric Newsome's avatar

Agreed, and well written is fun to read.

Eric Newsome's avatar

"a big red tie hanging to one side of his coat like a dog’s enormous tongue, a giant sullen septuagenarian who thought this speech would be a victory lap and is instead faced with the specter of his defeat." :) nice sentence

I wonder why he was able to control the impulse to turn his deeply ingrained sense of grievance away from blasting DeSantis. Strategically, sure - he is probably being advised, even by ass-kissers-only sycophant staff, not to share the air/limelight Ron D, but if even if so, this was rare self control then.

Is it not possible, that he actually has ZERO interest in anything except creating leverage , extracting or negotiating something (a pardon?) from DeSantis and grifting as much cash as the MAGA suckers will send him in 2023?

Laura Jedeed's avatar

It's possible but I think the big guy needs adoration to live the way the rest of us need water. He needs everyone to love him the most all of the time and a Presidential election is the best way to quantify that love and then wave it in everyone's faces

He didn't get a great reaction by going after DeSantis so he's toned it down for now (either his own idea or because his advisors sat him down and made him, like you're saying) but I think (hope!) he goes after him more as the primaries heat up. God I want to see that fight. Pigs in shit. God bless

Ornithomancer's avatar

I think also he knew his triumphant return was going to be a wet fart and his heart wasn't in it. He goes off script and goes off of people it seems like when he's in a manic mode, either pissed off or elated. Sad trombone Trump just kind of gets out there and mopes through it.

Marvelicious's avatar

Sad Trump is the funniest Trump... at least if you don't have to sit through the speeches. I generally try to avoid looking at or listening to the man and only digesting him remotely through commentary or print. It's my version of viewing Medusa only in reflection and it seems to be better for my state of mind.

ArlingtonAF's avatar

Sickos.gif... [but with me ripping a bong]

Erik's avatar

He will burn that ridiculous party to the ground if they try to nominate Desantis. And it will be glorious.