26 Comments
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Mark Smeraldi's avatar

That was a good one, and now I have something in my eye.

John Lauterbach's avatar

Well that’s a way to start the morning with tears. As I sit next to my geriatric cat. I’ve found many dog people do not understand that we cat folks feel the same exact fierce love for our slightly different furry friends as they do. But it is the case. She’s a purring her motorboat purr. Louder than a normal cat because of her flat brachycephalic face. Halfway between that of a Persian and a normal feline. Helmet head. Stewy Griffon of cats. She didn’t used to sit this close. In her life she was never a lap cat. Instead she would sit just out of arm’s reach and demand her pets in the most uncomfortable positions her humans could attain. She and I have been together nearly twenty years. Starting with the day my partner brought her home. I wasn’t sure about a new pet. Our previous two having been lost rather tragically but through no fault of our own very recently. But the second the cat carrier opened up instead of running and finding a quiet place to hide, normal new cat behavior, she jumped up to the arm of my chair and declared that I was hers. And I was, and am. She’s next to me now. Wrapped in her blanky after her now yearly haircut. She’s a long hair and can no longer keep up with herself and we very stupidly ended up on a schedule wherein she gets shaved in winter. And it gets cold in the mountains. So we follow her around and wrap her up tight and she stops shivering and begins the motorboat purr routine. A blue tip Himalayan purebred princess. The love of my life. To the point that because I travel for a living my partner has showered me with items adorned by her image. Socks, T-shirts, hoodies, blankets, pillow cases, my bathroom kit bag even a tiny bracelet in which you can see her image if you hold it to the light just right. She’s getting old and slow now. Missing teeth. More sleeping than even her usual laziness allows. Arthritis and shows through even a cat’s natural stoicism. I fear every time I leave for another month on the road what could happen if I’m not here. My partner works from home. So that has to be solace enough.

So yeah, tears for you Laura, not pity tears. Just understanding ones from a man not ashamed to cry. And maybe I’ll sit with my princess just a bit longer than usual. She demands at least an hour of quiet reading time with me every morning, if she can get it, and I leave to go back out into the wide world tomorrow. So I can take the time today, inspired to slow down a bit with my friend after reading your words.

Laura Jedeed's avatar

I love this so much, all of this. Beautifully written, and your cat sounds one-of-a-kind

I've never understood the dog person/cat person enmnity. They're different but not entirely and also just, so full of personality. I have a great deal of affection for animals with opinions, and cats have those in spades. I'm so happy you've had two decades of happiness with this creature and love imagining her wrapped in blankets and doted on in her old age. I hope both our friends continue to enjoy their twilight years as long as they can

Devakai's avatar

First thought: "Deed, what are you doing... a dog story?" Then I realized that all Deed's work is about love, from the depths, the deep kind no matter the subject or excuse. Lucy, go forth... Deed, write on, you are beloved.

Laura Jedeed's avatar

Wow, this may be the most beautiful compliment I have ever received about my writing. Thank you

Devakai's avatar

Sounds like it arrived from where it was sent, not from the head, but the heart. Bull's eye! Be well.

DNM's avatar

She’s beautiful. And perfect. And amazing. I hope for more good days and know you will do the right thing for her. Some years I spend more on vet expenses than on human health. Because I love my dogs with all my heart. I will play with my two new rescue dogs and hold the memories of my five departed dogs in my heart.

Laura Jedeed's avatar

Please give them extra pats for me

Patricia's avatar

Feel your impending pain, deeply. They are all good, and definitely too good for humans. Luna has had the best life and dogs are the only things that make me wish there's an afterlife.

Julie Peyton's avatar

I'm looking out my window over downtown Portland and the Eastside, wondering where you and Luna are, knowing you're safely warm indoors, but wishing you both could be walking by the Willamette, throwing and retrieving sticks from the water. [I had a sudden vision of role-reversal, which brought a flicker of a smile.] If you need human company from a stranger, send up a flare. I'l be watching. And praying (yeah, I do that) for (all three of) you.

Rick's avatar

What a wonderful ongoing adventure. Knock on wood and all good thoughts for her treatment Lady.

Ron Braithwaite's avatar

Sabrina/Luna, noblest of dogs: unsinkable.

Thank you. This is a very hard experience. When it's time, Compassionate Care in PDX will come to you and help both you and Luna as she passes over. I've been where you are and it still aches 5 years later.

I would invite you out to a cuppa while you're home, but it sounds like you've got your heart full.

Laura Jedeed's avatar

Thank you so much for this. I'll look them up when it's time. We definitely want her to go in her own home, surrounded by her people.

(And thank you for the invite as well, I am indeed emotionally housebound but I'll certainly be back out this way eventually)

Mary Marbach's avatar

This is everything. Much love to Luna. And you.

Richard Careaga's avatar

I'm migrating to ghost.io, following the lead of Platformer. It seems fairly familiar as an interface, but it seems to be more on a newsletter-by-newsletter basis. But I'm still finding my way around. You can get a feel visiting https://the-oracle-of-technocrat.ghost.io and have the distinction of being its first visitor.

Laura Jedeed's avatar

Subscribed! I've been looking at Ghost, definitely keep me updated on how you're finding it...

Richard Careaga's avatar

I like the writing interface better. Too early to assess anything else. Given where I started, I'm no more isolated than I was (shout out to you, my first and to date only subscriber) but we'll see.

spinfisher's reel life's avatar

Beautifully written Laura.

Chip's avatar

Quite a story, Laura. A moving one, as I grew up with dogs and am and always will be a dog lover.. I hope for the best outcome for Luna, but however it goes, know that when you come up for a visit we will go to Dog Mountain and visit the (non-denominational) Dog Chapel. The sign out front says it all: "Welcome all creeds, all breeds. No Dogmas Allowed." Bring a tissue for when you read the thousands of messages posted inside.

Laura Jedeed's avatar

Oh my god, I love that this exists and I cannot wait to see it

Elacular's avatar

I got an unbelievably perfect old cat named Yubaba who's made me infinitely better at taking care of myself, so I know how you feel. Good luck.

Laura Jedeed's avatar

Perfect name, and yes. God. Incredible how they do that. Hugs

Elacular's avatar

Her name's why I adopted her, and though she's less evil, she's just as powerful in magic.

Bill Flarsheim's avatar

Godspeed Luna. I hope radiation #3 gives you many more days of walks and bones, and sticks in the water.

Eric Newsome's avatar

The only thing sadder than losing someone/something you love this much, is to never have found and loved someone/something this much. Wow.... I am sorry for this sad time, but glad the right friend found you. I think everyone who read this had a memory evoked. Your writing craftmenship applied cathartically to this type of grief is almost too much. Being furious with facists, the demise of self goverannce, American ignorance and apathy is a shared safespace, okay? I thought we had a deal...

I recalled looking into a cage as child at the SPCA, ontop of which volunteers had put plywood, on top top that they had placed blocks, and instead of a hulking monstrousity, there was just a scraggly ball of fluff that shouldn't rightfully even have been called a dog. They told us she just wouldn't stay in any of their other cages, hence the board, lock and chain. She grew to be a 10lb terrier who turned out to be incarnation of the god of stubborness herself.